The best words to choose in any circumstance are those that most clearly, appropriately, and effectively convey your meaning. On this basis, simpler and shorter words generally express an idea not only more concisely but with less chance of ambiguity than longer and more complicated words. Simpler words are also likely to be the ones you know best; indeed, they are the words that everyone knows best.So, it is generally better to use ask rather than request, need rather than require, want rather than desire, use rather than utilize. It is certainly better to use start rather then commence, complete or finish rather than finalize, end rather than terminate, and change rather than modify. There is no need to say or write remuneration or recompense when pay will express your meaning equally well. Remember the character of Mr. Micawber from Charles Dickens's David Copperfield (1849–50) who, when speaking of his job selling corn on commission, remarked: "It is not an avocation of a remunerative description—in other words, it does not pay." It was not in Mr. Micawber's nature to be plain at the outset, but he usually had the grace to provide a short and simple translation at the end.It may seem unlikely that anyone but a rather pompous person would say,I have come to request your assistance. instead ofI have come to ask for your help. orKindly provide me with a schedule of your requirements. rather thanPlease give me a list of the things you need. orCurrent extravagance may lead to future deprivation. rather thanWaste not, want not. The operative word at the beginning of the previous sentence, however, is say. The more formal and long-winded alternatives are not sentences that spring to the average person's lips in conversation, but when the average person sits down to write, it is remarkable how often a complicated formulation will come into his or her head in place of a plain statement.Now, it is difficult to strike the right balance. As has been said, most people's "writing voice" is slightly different from their speaking voice, and it is usually slightly more formal. But it is all a question of degree, and it is easy to go too far. The very act of sitting down in front of a screen, a typewriter, or a piece of blank paper seems sometimes to transform us into stiffer and more pedantic versions of the people we really are. If this happens, we may start, consciously or unconsciously, to divide words and phrases into two classes: those we use on paper, or what we might call "writable words," and those we use when speaking, "speakable words."Strictly speaking, no such distinction exists; anything that can be written can be spoken and vice versa. In practice, we know that there are some words and phrases that would probably sound out of place if we uttered them in speech and others, for example, very colloquial and slang expressions, that do not look good on paper. Nevertheless, the bulk of what we would normally say can be transferred to paper without alteration. The fact that we are writing rather than speaking should not be the factor that governs our choice of words. Consequently, if "Please give me a list of the things you need" is the wording you would use if you were speaking directly to somebody, there is no need to search around for a more elevated equivalent if you are addressing the same person on paper.In addition to any self-consciousness they may feel about the act of writing itself, people are also apt to tie themselves into unnecessary knots trying to recall the conventional formulas for the type of writing that they have to do. It is not uncommon, for example, for people who have to write business letters to worry more about producing something that sounds as if it belongs in a commercial environment than about the actual message they have to convey or the person or people they have to convey it to. Here again, it is a question of striking a sensible balance. Tone and register are important, as was said earlier, but clarity and simplicity are more important still.Consider the following example:With reference to our telephone conversation of yesterday afternoon regarding repairs to my central-heating system, I have since come to the conclusion that the amount that you calculated that the repairs would cost is excessive, and I have decided that I shall make alternative arrangements for carrying out the work. Often the way in which you start a sentence or a paragraph sets the tone for the whole piece of writing. A phrase like with reference to offers a very tempting solution to the problem of how to begin. It seems to take you to the natural starting point of what you want to say, which is what was said on the same subject on an earlier occasion. It also seems to be the kind of phrase that people write when they are dealing with a business matter. The fact that "With reference to our telephone conversation of yesterday afternoon …" is not something most people would naturally say seems irrelevant.But with reference to is precisely the kind of rather formal and conventional phrase that almost inevitably ushers in a vague and wordy sentence. The simpler word it usually replaces is about. However, if you begin a sentence of this kind with about, it will sound too informal and abrupt. "About those repairs to my central-heating system …" is a fine way to start if you happen upon the repairperson in the street, but not when you are writing to him or her. This is one of those phrases that are speakable, but not really writable. To find a beginning that is both speakable and writable—and therefore better written English because it is closer to spoken English—you could forget about trying to damp down the abruptness of about and recast the sentence so that it does not start with a preposition or a prepositional phrase:We spoke on the telephone yesterday afternoon about repairs to my central-heating system. This is immediately neater and crisper. The words and constructions in the original were not absolutely "unspeakable" and not exactly highfalutin, but they were just far enough away from simplicity and directness to give the sentence a slightly flabby feel. To put it another way, With reference to our telephone conversation of yesterday afternoon regarding … is business lingo; We spoke on the telephone yesterday afternoon about … is businesslike.Having made a crisp beginning—and having decided that what you have to say in this case is too much for a single sentence—you can then set about clearing up all the nervous "that" clauses that follow:I have since decided that the cost you estimated for fixing the system is too high, and I shall ask someone else to do the work. Using simpler words generally results in your using fewer words and getting your point across more effectively. Check whether what you have written is what you would normally say. If it is not, consider whether the words you would use for the same purpose if you were speaking to somebody are appropriate to appear on paper. If they are, use them. If they are not, try saying the same thing to yourself another way and use that as the basis for your written sentence.Let us return briefly to the starting point of this example, the prepositional phrase with reference to. It is good discipline to check whether such phrases appear in your writing, especially whether they appear frequently. If they do, think about replacing them with simpler equivalents. Here is a list of some lengthy prepositions and possible alternatives:| as a consequence of | because of | | by means of | by, with, using | | by virtue of | by | | for the purpose of | to (+ infinitive) | | for the reason that | because | | in accordance with | by, under | | in addition to | besides | | inasmuch as | since | | in association with | with | | in case of | if | | in excess of | above, more than, over | | in favor of | for | | in the absence of | without | | in the course of | during, in | | in the event of | if | | in the nature of | like | | in the neighborhood of | about, around | | in the vicinity of | near | | in view of | because of | | on the grounds of | because of | | on the part of | by, among | | prior to | before | | subsequent to | after | | with a view to | to (+ infinitive) | | with the exception of | except |
Following is another example that illustrates a slightly different problem for which the best solution would again be to choose words of greater simplicity:My background in terms of relevant experience has been mainly in interfacing with the public in retail situations, where I have augmented my intrapersonal skills to the extent that I am now poised to undertake a more demanding position. It is not clear from this sentence what type of work the writer has been doing, but it would appear that he or she considers it to have been something relatively humble and feels a need to disguise this. Hence the choice of a vague phrase "interfacing with the public in retail situations," instead of something more concrete, such as "serving in a store" or "working as a sales clerk."Would you say "My background has been mainly in interfacing with the public in retail situations …"? You would not, not simply because it sounds highfalutin, but because nine times out of 10 the person you were speaking to would immediately ask what you meant by "interfacing with the public in retail situations." In this case, you should ask yourself not only "Would I say this?" but also "If I said this, what sort of reaction would it provoke?"It is natural, of course, to want to present yourself in the best possible light when applying for a new job, but it may be counterproductive to try to make what you have done before sound grander than it actually is. A savvy employer's next question might be, "If you're so good with the public, how come you can't communicate more clearly?" An employer is likely to be more impressed by clarity and honesty than by knowledge of a few terms from professional jargon, such as interface and interpersonal skills (not intrapersonal skills).There are other clumsy expressions in the example: "My background in terms of relevant experience," where just "my background" or "my relevant experience" would have been better; and "I am now poised to undertake a more demanding position," which makes it sound almost as if the writer is practicing yoga exercises rather than applying for a job. Basically, however, the writer would have done better to choose a more direct approach and simpler words:I have relevant experience. I have worked as a sales clerk in a store and feel that I have now become skilled and confident enough in dealing with the public to take on a more responsible job. There are other ways in which the original sentence could have been improved. The important thing is to be alert to any tendency you may discover in yourself to use such vague and long-winded phrases as in retail situations, or such unnecessarily fancy words as augment. Ask yourself whether they would stand up if you were using them in a conversation. Be ruthless about discarding them and seeking simpler alternatives if you come to the conclusion that they would not survive under questioning.People may be tempted sometimes to resort to longer and more complicated words when writing an ordinary letter, but the temptation is even greater when they are faced with the task of writing something as an academic exercise:In light of this interpretation, "departmentalization" may be seen as a strategy for the involvement of departmental interests in the formulation and implementation of development policies basically following principles of functional representation involving interested parties in the department, through the establishment of forums entitled to the building of a departmental consensus on development objectives and measures. Although a high school student is, admittedly, unlikely to produce such a monstrosity, this type of writing is all too common in dissertations and articles in learned journals. It may be the desire to impress that, once again, impels the writer to empty a bucketful of long words into a sentence. On the other hand, it seems equally possible in this case that faced with the problem of defining a concept that is difficult to grasp and has several different aspects, the writer is simply desperate to touch all the bases and get home. It almost reads like a panicky sentence. You can almost imagine the writer thinking, "I know this is terribly complicated, but it's the best I can do. I think it says what I mean. I think it just about hangs together. If it presents problems for the reader, then that's just too bad!"We have probably all had such thoughts at one time or another. It is much easier to find clear and simple words when the idea you have to put across is relatively straightforward. But the obligation to be clear and simple does not go away if you have something complicated or intricate to write about. You cannot expect your reader to do your thinking for you. Likewise, it is perfectly permissible for a writer to write anything as a first draft, simply in order to get an idea out of the brain and onto the paper or computer screen. It may be very sketchy or very wordy; it may not even be very clearly thought out. What is not permissible is to leave such a first draft unedited, especially in a case like this one where the material is so obviously crying out to be made easier to understand.Let us see if we can make sense of what this particular writer was trying to say. He or she evidently wanted to do three things: to say what departmentalization is, according to "this interpretation"; to state the principles on which it operates; and to show how these principles are put into practice. If we divide up the original material on the basis of this assumption, with very little rewriting we arrive at the following:"Departmentalization" may be seen as a strategy for the involvement of departmental interests in the formulation and implementation of development policies. It basically follows principles of functional representation involving interested parties in the department. It does this through the establishment of forums entitled to the building of a departmental consensus on development objectives and measures. That is a little clearer. If we try to simplify and clarify further, we may arrive at the following:In this interpretation, "departmentalization" is a strategy that aims to involve the departments themselves in drawing up and implementing development policies. Interested parties within departments send representatives to forums, which attempt to build a departmental consensus on what the objectives of development should be and what measures should be taken to achieve them. The all-important preparation for clear and simple expression is clear and simple thinking. Even if you are writing for your peers, imagine that you are explaining your idea to a nonexpert. If necessary, break down a complex idea into its component parts before attempting to put it down on paper. In the above and previous examples, using simpler words has also meant using fewer words. The point has been made before, however, that the interests of clarity and the interests of conciseness are not always the same. If you need to use more words and to repeat key terms in order to express an idea intelligibly, you should never be afraid to do so.
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